“A five-step process to USE IT when you want to lose it!”
The New Year is coming fast, and it’s almost time to say goodbye to 2017. As that day of typical hangover cures and empty resolutions approaches, I have a challenge for you that surpasses the ones before. Instead of some basic redundant resolutions to lose weight, log more steps, or eat healthily, paint the bedroom, and on and on, I challenge you to take on the most significant challenge ever: mastery of you. That’s right. While we have been hearing a great deal about “Making America Great Again,” we have forgotten that the way you accomplish this goal is to start with the only person you can change, YOU.
But what does that mean? If this past year has been filled with many surprises and sometimes disappointments and I bet, you may even lost your temper a few times and spouted some nonsense on some social media outlet. But where did that get you? It is easy to yell at someone, blame the slow driver for your lateness, or in general freak out when your computer locks up leaving you in limbo. What if in 2018 you make a new choice to stop the senseless freaking out, stressing out, and blaming so you can take control over your life? What could happen if you learned how to focus on the things that truly matter? What if you learned how to take care of stressful situations? How would your life change in the New Year if you just stopped trying to win every argument?
In my book, You, Disrupted, I explore methods and proven strategies to become a positive disruptor in your own life. I like to summarize the value of the book by saying, “You, Disrupted will help you make YOU great again.” In one chapter of the book, I talk about how to use any difficult situation or circumstance to build something better for you. Instead of your typical freak out where you lose it every time you face a challenge, this five-step process teaches you to USE IT. If you practice these simple steps, I know that in 2017 you will start to say, “Just USE IT” to tackle the most persistent naysayer who thinks you won’t stick to that resolution.
U – Understand the big picture. – What is most important? That is a simple question, but one that we often overlook. If you want to lose weight or get a new career in 2018, you will have a goal and get yourself excited, but when you face the slightest bit of adversity you can fall right back into your old habits. The key to achieving and sustaining a life change lies in your ability to stay focused on what is most important, the Big Picture. Each time you face resistance, negativity or a stressful roadblock, turn it around by reminding yourself that what is most important is your goal, it’s your Big Picture.
S – Say, my attitude dictates my experience. Here is the reality—your attitude is under your control. That means you can decide to change it. Before any goal setting or when facing a negative situation, prepare your attitude in the positive. “I am excited to eat healthy this year.” versus “I don’t know how I will resist dessert, I just can’t.” Attitude is a choice, and no one controls yours but you.
E - Evict your ego. Ego: the need to win and be right. Let’s say you have set a new goal to start a business in 2018, but you have that friend or family member who continually tells you, “It won’t work.” So you then take up a fighting position, and the argument begins. You attempt to convince them that you will make it and they argue against. So you give in to your ego, and the fight is on. That argument is pulling you away from your goal, but you don’t care because the ego feels good in the battle. Here is the best news, you do not need to give in to it. And remember, once you give in, you tend to dig in. What I mean is you dig into a negative forceful position where even if you win . . . you lose—yourself, and your focus on the goal for the New Year.
I – I make no assumptions. Assumptions are pure self-inflicted evil. Have you ever assumed someone or something only to find out later you were completely wrong? Worse yet, have you made the assumption and then taken action? When creating a resolution or focusing on making yourself great, it is easy to either assume you will fail or think no one will support you. Either way, it is a colossal waste of time to make any assumptions. You will be faced with all sorts of challenges in the New Year, but assuming anything at this point or ever is useless. So, every time you are about to consider, ask yourself the simple question, “Is that true?” If the answer is “I don’t know,” then you need to do some discovery first.
T – This is not personal. Nothing is personal. That’s right. Not even your friends’ view of your goals. When you engage in discussion with other people about your new goals for 2018 and operate under the assumption their comments are a personal attack; you have forgotten this rule. (and the last one) Nothing a person says or does is personal against you. So instead of taking it personally, try merely listening to their perspective. You will need to remind yourself of this fact over and over again, especially when your mother says “That new goal is so dumb.” She is not saying you are stupid. Instead, she is reacting to some negative stuff inside her. (She needs to USE IT) The truth is NOTHING is personal, ever. You believing it to be personal is all that is causing a situation to be stressful.
You have time right now to begin to apply these five simple steps so that you build a new you in the coming year. You have the power to implement these steps when faced with ANY challenge. When setting your unique goals and creating your vision for yourself in the new year, you can do, have and become anything. There is nothing or person outside of you who can control how you feel or act. It is a choice to lose it when you are challenged, but it the astonishing fact is that it is also a choice to instead USE IT to make your new year a year for a new you! Happy early New Year.
Bring on 2018!